top of page
Search

Reflect and Leap Forward

Well friends, it’s December and the final month of 2022! Not sure how we got here. I mean, I know how we got here but 2022 seemed to go by quickly. The days are long, but the years are short!


Case in point…


If any of you follow me on socials, you heard about how my 9 year old recently confronted me about the “Elf” AND Santa {all in one night}. My 13 year old never did. He knows what’s up, but I suspect never really wanted to hear the words. And I was hoping my 9 year old would follow suit…no such luck!


For those of you not familiar with “Elf on the Shelf” perhaps you’re living under a rock…just kidding! An elf magically appears each day in your home to watch over the kids and then travels to the North Pole each night to deliver news to Santa. It’s pretty creepy if you think about it ;-)


Some people are amazingly creative with their elf “poses”. We are NOT. The elf moves around to the same locations and we often have to run back downstairs after we’re comfy in bed because we forgot to move the darn thing. And our elf has been known to come back to the same place a couple (or a few) days in a row because it loved the spot so much {aka we forgot or were too lazy to move it}.


Okay, back to the convo with my daughter…


After going back and forth, answering her questions with questions {a fantastic avoidance tactic and to better gauge what she was thinking}, she asked me point blank to tell her the truth. And I did. About all of it.

{Check out the videos on my socials to see how I attempted to keep the magic of

Christmas, and her excitement, alive despite coming clean}.


I recounted the conversation to my husband later than night, mentioning what I should have said or done differently, but I’m choosing to take this as a parenting win…


Here’s the thing…

We spend so much time {and energy} dwelling on what we consider to be “mistakes”. Replaying the conversation over and over in our head, and to whoever will listen, ruminating about what we *should* have said and done differently. How about we simply reflect, accept the lesson {if there is one}, give ourselves a break {just like we do with everyone around us}, and move on.

And give equal air time to our “wins”!

As we near the end of the calendar year, let’s take this opportunity to reflect back on all that we have accomplished {big and small} over the past year and look forward from a place of abundance.


Here are three ways we can do that:


1. Celebrate our accomplishments.

As Moms, we are VERY good at celebrating the successes of our children, our spouses, our friends, our coworkers, and everyone else around us. BUT, sometimes {or a lot of the time} we don’t take stock of what WE’VE accomplished. We spend so much time focusing on what we didn’t do “right” or the mistakes we’ve made.

Or, as soon as we’ve accomplished something {big or small}, we’re focusing on what’s next.

Let’s ditch that self-judgement, pause for a minute, and show ourselves the same courtesy, compassion and kindness that we show everyone else around us. Let’s be our own cheerleader.

It may feel awkward at first, but it’s just our human brain learning a new behavior. It gets easier with practice, I promise.

Every Friday on my social media accounts, I ask “What are you celebrating today {big or small}”?

Use that as your prompt to write down your wins. You don’t need to share them, but it’s more fun if you do and the collective positive energy is contagious.


2. Make changes from a place of gratitude and abundance.

This is the time of year that we begin to think about our intentions for 2023.

Without intentions or goals, we’re either standing in place or running around in circles. Our brain needs some direction, otherwise our primitive brain (our survival brain) wants to do what it’s always done, it wants to seek pleasure, do what’s “easy”, avoid pain, and avoid what it perceives as “hard”.

If we want to make changes to in our lives, including our health, let’s do so from a place of gratitude and abundance.

It’s a beautiful thing that each of us can choose if we want to change our bodies, our income, our relationships, whatever. We always have the power to choose.

But, when we act from a place of self-judgement, self-loath or in terms of what we think we “should” do, we are acting from a place of scarcity.

If we think we don’t have “enough” or aren’t “enough”, chances are, we won’t ever think we have “enough” or are “enough”.

In contrast, it’s feels so much easier {and a lot more fun}, to make a change if we do it from a place of love, acceptance {for ourselves and others} and abundance. Those are the changes that we maintain long-term, rather than the quick fixes that are fleeting.

For example, if you want to improve your health in 2023, think about what your body is capable of now. You may not feel and look the way you want, but what can you be grateful for right now?


3. When you think about your goals for 2023, don’t “should” all over yourself.

I should work out more. I should eat better. I should be skinnier. I should get to work earlier. I should be more productive. I should get home earlier. I should cook more. I should be more “present”. I should be a better Mom. Etc…

When we think and speak in terms of “shoulds”, we’re really saying we’re not good enough.

Read that again.

I call BS on that nonsense!

When we think we “should” do something, it feels punitive and it perpetuates feelings of guilt and shame.

This is negative self-talk and we make ourselves feel like crap when we think this way. When we “should” ourselves, we take away our choice and our power. We don’t have our own back.

  • Let’s stop worrying about what we “should” do or be and instead meet ourselves where we’re at right now.

  • Let’s choose our goals based on what’s important to us, NOT because we think we should do or be something, because someone else said so or because we’re comparing ourselves to other people.

  • Let’s give ourselves room to work toward those goals at our own pace. Let’s consciously choose the actions {what we will and won’t do} to get closer to our goals.

  • Let’s work on building ourselves up instead of putting ourselves down.

We can do this by shifting our perspective:

  • Notice when you are “shoulding” all over yourself. Be a compassionate observer. Pretend you’re talking to your 10 year old child (or your 10 year old self). How would you talk to that child?

  • Ask yourself “why” you want to do whatever it is you think you “should” do or be. Are your reasons compelling? Do they hit you in the gut {and heart}?

  • If your reasons are compelling, choose some thoughts to move you forward productively. For example, instead of saying “I should exercise”, try “I want to exercise, because {list your whys}…”.

This will help you build consistency, which is the key to reaching any goal. Small, consistent actions.

The results you will create for yourself are worth your efforts.


Enjoy the holidays friends and take time to reflect on the past year, celebrate the wins {big and small} and plan for 2023 from a place of abundance and compassion.


Have an amazing day friends,

~Tracey


P.S. Want some help developing {and following through on} your plans for 2023, so you can enjoy your life more with less stress, less worry and less overwhelm? I’m your girl! This is one of my superpowers. Email me {Tracey@TraceySmithLifeCoach.com}, message me on socials, or send me a smoke signal and let’s chat. A few weeks left to lock in 2022 prices before my rates go up.


2 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page