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Here's why I'm not a fan of this well-meaning advice!




A few weeks ago, I was talking to another Mom, whose children have “grown and flown”, and she offered the well-meaning advice, “Enjoy every minute, you’re going to miss this”.

 

This was in response to me lamenting about my kids’ summer schedule (or lack thereof).

 

You see, my kids are in that in-between stage. Camp options are limited for my middle-schooler (as is her enthusiasm for attending said camps) and my high schooler has a crazy baseball schedule thru July and we haven’t pushed him to get a J-O-B yet.


My Type A personality is feeling a bit anxious with how it’s all going to unfold.

 

While I love spending time with them, I am not looking forward to screen time battles or the whining (“I’m bored”, “What can I have for a snack, there’s no food in this house” 🙄…especially from my young middle schooler)!

 

"You’re going to miss this."

 

I know this is partially true, and with friends who have graduating seniors, I am keenly aware of how fast time flies. 

 

But, when I think I should “enjoy every minute, because I’m going to miss this”, it tends to evoke shame and guilt.

 

Let’s be honest, there are parts of parenthood that I have loved, but I certainly haven’t enjoyed EVERY minute and there are moments that I am NOT going to miss.

 

  • I loved the days of maternity leave with a sweet, napping newborn on my lap, but didn’t enjoy the exhaustion, raw/bleeding nipples from breastfeeding struggles, and the lingering stench of spit-up.   

  • I loved the days of walking through the grocery store with a curious toddler in the cart, waving and giggling at the other shoppers, but didn’t enjoy not being able to actually buy the groceries due to said toddler having a massive meltdown in the checkout line.

 

  • I love my current era, watching my kids do what they love on the soccer and baseball field, but don’t always enjoy the “evening scramble” (rushing home after work for practice, eating on the go, etc…) or the long drives up and down New England.


I will (and do) miss certain moments, and I will (and do) cherish those.

 

I will (and do) recognize the “glimmers” in all situations. Like this summer, I’ll take the tradeoff of the uncertainty (and the whining about being bored) in favor of the flexibility that summer brings (e.g., family vacations, unrushed mornings, having lunch with my kids on the days I work from home).

 

BUT I will not buy into the myth that I have to “enjoy every minute, because I’m going to miss this”. 

 

You don’t have to either.

 

What’s on your agenda for the summer? What plans do you have for your middle schoolers? Email me, I’d love to know (Tracey@TraceySmithLifeCoach.com). 

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